Recently I found myself overwhelmed with family life.
My 82 year old mother went into hospital last month with a chest infection, complicated by terminal lung cancer, and I spent days watching her fight for breath as she precariously pivoted on the edge of life and death. We were lucky, she pulled through and was able to return home. She remains bed bound with carers supporting her around the clock and with the help of my 76 year old father who fortunately is still in great health. In the lead up to her hospital admittance, she had many falls where my father and I needed to physically lift her back onto her feet. At the same time my youngest daughters’ nursery kept closing due to staffing issues, which meant juggling her care, mum and work. The experience was physically and emotionally draining and one day I was so exhausted I took to bed and stayed under my duvet until dinner.
Like my parents, baby boomers are now in their seventies and eighties, people are living longer and social care is failing and unaffordable. Consequently, more employees are having to balance raising children at the same time as caring for their relatives, and this responsibility often falls on women. I have an incredibly supportive husband who equally shares chores and caring responsibilities for our three children, aged 3, 7 and 14, but as an only child, the responsibility of my parents care falls with me.
The impact on sandwich carers’ mental health is explicitly linked. In the 2015 European Health Interview Survey (EHIS) findings showed that women providing their frail relatives with informal care were less likely to suffer from mental distress compared to non-carers. However, results change radically if they had children aged less than 15 at home, and a higher probability of being depressed was detected for women overwhelmed by the double responsibility of assisting both dependent relatives and their own children. Results are not significant for men.
I am lucky to have a supportive employer. Having access to a variety of employee assistance options, made available in easy to read policies, brings support and relief in those moments that matter. Through these, I can balance my carer responsibilities by being able to work flexibly, take paid or unpaid time off, and when the time comes, even have generous end of life leave. So, was my attendance and productivity affected? Due to the flexibility offered by my employer I actually didn’t need to take any time off work and was also able to remain productive and deliver a successful and well received piece of work.
Want to discuss and learn strategies to support and retain your sandwich carer employees? Get in touch!
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